Words hurt

Hi, everyone! Today post is about words hurt someone's heart. U may think sticks and stones may break my bones but words are weapons that pierce my heart. I tend to listen to what others say and I accept it just like a snap of fingers. I don't have an opinion of my own but im like a follower, which is very bad. What others said I will take it to my heart and I will feel sad. I am a human, not a robot without feelings. I feel sad and other negative emotions that comes from my heart.

Have you guys feel that way?

Im sorry to end off with a sad note.

Do follow me on instagram @angeltanqq. Thanks everyone for reading my post! :)

Feeling unconfident about myself

Hi, everyone! Today post is going to be about me feeling low about myself. Recently, there are a lot of projects and I feel that everyone is expecting a lot from me, causing me to have mixed feelings whether I can do it well or not. I feel really stressed and part of me doesn't want to study anymore but I know in this society, its hard not to study as we need a degree or poly certificate for job in the future. I don't think I am good enough for anyone in the projects..how? I am sad.....

Shall end off with a sad note...
Midnight thoughts about life...


Follow me on instagram @angeltanqq. Thanks everyone for reading. :)

Obsessed with Wardrobemess

Hi, everyone! Today post will be about an online fashion store called Wardrobemess. Recently, I am obsessed with the clothes that they sell online and they have different varieties of fashion such as basic, clothing. outerwear etc. The quality and pricing matches and they sell the clothes at a reasonable price. I really love the different outfits that they sell and they give a different look to you.

These are some outfits which they sell online:










These are some outfits and shoes that I really like. The price may looks a bit expensive but it is super worth it to buy it. Someone like me who hardly wears dresses..i find that their dresses are something I would wear it and it is simple but looks really pretty. Simplicity is beauty.

Do support Wardrobemess and go to their website to see their clothing.
They do have instagram @wardrobemess and do follow them to get updates on new clothing released.


Do support me by following me on my instagram @angeltanqq. If you like my blog, do support by looking at my other posts as well and follow me as there will be recent updates on new posts. :)

Do share it with your friends. Have a great day ahead.

Merry Christmas

Hi, everyone! Merry Christmas!! Christmas is a time for us to reflect and enjoy with our loved ones, friends. These few weeks have been hectic for me as I went out almost everyday for a lot of commitments such as projects etc. I really love ootd pictures and different fashion styles. To take a really good ootd, you need a good photographer, nice background, good lighting, fashionable clothing, trendy shoes and most importantly, knowing how to pose really well. Some people may look good on pictures but in real life, they don't seem appealing. This is because they have good posing and camera skills. For me, my pose do depends. If I am wearing hipster black style, I will pose in a swag way. But having someone who is a really good photographer will take a nice ootd picture. You can apply some makeup or put on contact lenses if you want to be outstanding. :)

Have a great day ahead and enjoy your Christmas.
follow me on instagram @angeltanqq.

Regrets in life

Hi, everyone! Today post will be about regrets I made in life. Yesterday, I went to celebrate bbq Christmas party and reached home at around 2am. I finally see a lot of things from my friends in my CCA. When it was late at night, they were talking about taking grab taxi together but the taxi could only allow 4 people. All of them were just nice 4 people as they were living quite close to one another. One group lived around lakeside, the other group lived around woodlands area and another group lived around east side of Singapore. I am the only one living different from them. When they were all discussing, I was being left out and at that point of time, I really wanted to get home as I was tired and sat alone quietly, hoping someone will take notice of me, but the real truth was everyone did not know I was even there. It hurts. I tried to hide the sadness and hurt I felt and told my friend that it was late at night and I couldn't take taxi alone as the fees charged was expensive at night. And my phone accidentally dropped on the ground and screen cracked. I felt a great deal of pain in my heart. Yesterday basically sums up my worst day. I regretted going for the party as it was super tiring but it made me see things clearer in friends. I couldn't trust anyone.



I hope you like my blog and continue to support me and follow my instagram @angeltanqq.
Thanks everyone for reading. :)

Swag and hipster style

Hi, everyone! Today post will be on fashion style. Everyone's style is different from the others and my style is more to hipster. A lot of people asked me why I like to dress in hipster style instead of wearing those dresses like normal girls would wear. The reason is hipster style gives a different and unique edge to me and I am more comfortable in wearing sporty style with shoes.

These are some styles I would wear:
 







My style is more to sporty and simple. I like crop top hoodie and short skirt. Occasionally, I will wear a cap to complete the look.

Do your have the same style as me?

If you like my blog, continue to support me and follow me on instagram@angeltanqq.

This post is a bit short but I hope you do like it.'

Have a nice day ahead! :)

Life is hard

Hi, everyone! Recently, I learnt a lot in Polytechnic. I feel that when I enter Polytechnic, not only do I have to study, I have to deal with different kinds of people. Some people like to gossip a lot, spread negative things behind someone's back and talk about someone breaking up with his girlfriend..basically all the drama stuff. I don't get why people are gossiping..i don't like gossip because I feel that some things are not our business and we are involving ourselves in someone else's lives, talking bad about someone doesn't make someone feel good. I am a person who don't like gossip and like to be different and unique from the others. But is it a good thing to be different? I think differently and act differently. I kept a low profile but i will talk to anyone in the room. Basically, i am an outgoing person but i do keep some deep secrets to myself. These days i feel that i cant bring myself to trust anyone because of many past experiences. I learnt to be independent but at the same time, keeping those values in myself. I feel more for people which means i can understand what someone is going through. But i don't involve myself in other's problems and like to do things in a different way. So many things to say but i shall write in another post next time.

If you like my blog, do support me by following me on my blog and instagram @angeltanqq.

Have a great day ahead! :)

Close friend

Hi, everyone! Today post will be about my close friend. So far of my 18 years of life, the person who really knows and understands me is my one very special close friend. I do have many friends but I realized that none of them actually understands my inner thoughts except for this particular special close friend. I am so glad to meet her since the first day of CCA. When I need help or feeling down, she will stay by my side or text me, giving her most reasonable advice to me. Her advice was different from the others as hers was genuine and real. When I feel sad, I am not sure is it just me but I would not want anyone to comfort me with nice words. She remains her true self, which is what I like about her. I feel so close to her that I would tell her my stuff and dark past and she would never judge me. I feel that i am so lucky to have such a close friend like her and I treasure every moment of my friendship with her.

Have you ever wondered how many people you hang out with actually understand you? Sometimes they think they do, but the real fact is they don't. They presume. I let down my walls for my close friend, one and only. I show her my weakness and my most true self which I have never showed to others before. I feel that there is no hiding between me and her as I don't feel a need to do that.

Its hard to find that one person who truly understands you but you will eventually meet the person sooner or later.

Someone who knows what you are thinking
Someone who stays with you through tough times
Someone who will never judge you for your true self
Someone who loves you regardless
Someone who gives good advice
Someone who makes you reflect on yourself

I have found it and I am happy that I have someone I can rely on. Thanks, my special close friend for helping me and be there for me. :)

If you like this post, continue to support me by reading my blog and following me on instagram @angeltanqq.

Have a great day ahead! :)

Life thoughts

Hi, everyone! Today post is going to be about my thoughts about life. Recently, I had a really deep conversation with my friend and we were discussing about how people around us were like. As I am from business school in poly, I meet a lot of people with different kinds of personality. Some are genuine, nice and real while some are fake and have 2 sides to them. Some people are naturally pretty and popular with thousands of followers on instagram. Sometimes I do envy them but at the end of the day, let me ask you: does popular equate to happy? One of my friends is popular with 1203 followers but she told me she was actually not happy, instead she suffered from depression. She did not have many close friends. It was all an act. On the outside, she may be the popular type but on the inside, she suffered a lot of stuff which most people actually didn't know about it. I feel that everyone has an inner story to tell..followers on instagram doesn't mean anything..as long as you have close friends who really care about you stay with you, you are happy. Yes, she may be pretty but does looks really matter much? Looks is temporary but what really captures you and really want to hang out with that person is her personality and her heart. No matter how pretty she looks, if her personality is bad, I wont even want to hang out with her. Hence, having a nice and real personality is the best.

Second thing is straightforward. My friend is straightforward and there is good and bad thing to it. Good thing is as she is my close friend, I like this attitude. I will know what is on her mind and there is no hiding. But the bad thing is to the others who don't know her, they may not like the way she thinks and some of her words may hurt others even when she does not mean it that way. Straightforward may end up hurting someone..hence, I feel that sometimes when we say things, we need to know what to say and say it in a correct way..something like sugarcoat it.

Third thing is judgement. I know nowadays, many people may tend to judge others a lot. Not that im saying judgment is bad, but I feel that everyone is different..we are all born with different kind of faces. Some pretty, some average, some even below. But deep down in my heart, I feel that everyone is unique in their own ways. Not everyone is born naturally pretty, but what matters most is personality. You cant judge a person by his or her looks and form judgement about that person. You need to know that person long enough to really know what she or he is like.

This post is a bit long but I do hope most of you like it. Do spread it to your friends about my post and blog and continue to support me by reading my blog. Also, do follow me on instagram @angeltanqq if you want to see updates about my life.

Have a great day and smile always. Life is full of fun and surprises. Don't spend time dwelling on the past or sad things that happen. Look forward to the fun times ahead. :)

Fashion in the month of December

Hi, everyone! Today post is going to be about fashion. Recently, I bought a crop top hoodie and I really like it so much. It is super comfy and fashionable, giving you a swag and smart look. I pair this with either a skirt or a scott(im not sure if is a correct spelling but basically, is a short skirt with shorts inside).

 


(mine is something like that, black with words written: Los Angeles and New York)

(I do have the ribbon or string in front)


After that, you can pair it with this:

It can be of different colours, depending on your liking.

This is basically what I wear to school. But before that, I pair it up with a shoes.


it can be a shoes of your liking too.

The whole outfit is completed and you are ready to go to school. If you are someone who likes to go for swag style, I would prefer you go for this.

I hope you enjoy my short post about fashion. Continue to support me by following me on my blog and instagram: angeltanqq. Username is angie.

Thanks, everyone! Have a nice day. :)

Everyone has a unique personality

Hi, everyone! Today post is going to be about unique personality. Personality defines a person as a person with good character is able to communicate well with people and is well-liked by most people. This personality attracts me to hang out with her often. Everyone is pretty in their own ways, in and out. Even if a person looks average but her personality is good, I think she is beautiful. I feel that in life, there are many judgments around and this may cause many people to be hurt due to insults or comments. Everyone is different in their own ways, why judge? I got this inspiration from a module which I am learning now called Managerial Organisational Behaviour. It teaches me to learn to work together with people effectively and instill ethical emotions and feelings in us. I feel that this module is useful to me as I feel that we need to put ourselves in others' shoes and think from their perspectives. Someone who is kind, help others, understandable...I would want to hang out with her everyday. Showing your true self and be kind to others are quotes I live by every single day when I wake up. Kind, genuine and understandable. Treat others like how you want them to treat you. :)

Smile always. :)

Song Writing and Melody Composing

Hi, everyone! Im back with another post. During the holidays, I learnt more about song writing and melody composing. I realized that behind every song, there are more job to be done such as using piano or guitar to find the perfect and catchy melody and emotional lyrics to capture everyone attention. During the whole process, we are given 10-30mins to come out with a verse and chorus. I was pretty scared at first because I had never compose a song before but luckily I got my best friend to help me with the melody. I am better in lyrics writing as I can express my feelings in lyrics. The way I write my lyrics depends on my mood but mostly is about life and sadness. My past is messed up so I will usually write about that but currently, im happy so I cant come out with any lyrics.

To start composing a song, first, we use piano or guitar(depends on your preference) and play with the chords. Find the perfect melody that you think it sounds good and come out with lyrics. Actually, it depends on everyone's preference, some like to write lyrics and come out with the melody as they said its easier for them. Song writing is like writing a story, there must be a story plot. For example, the verse is a starting point to the song and chorus is at the top of the song which is important as it brings out the whole message of the song. If chorus is too vague, the song has little meaning that you want to bring out of the song. Chorus is something that must be strong and powerful. For example, lets say you want to talk about sad love, if you want to bring out the message that you are waiting(longing) for him, you can say: I have been waiting for you, sitting on the streets looking for you...
something like that.

My best friend is good in melody composing and I am good in lyrics writing, so its easier for us to work together. The whole process is fun as it involves creativity and your emotions. Whatever you are feeling now can be expressed in lyrics and creates a suitable melody to suit the mood.

Song writing and melody composing are hard but it can be fun at times. Enjoy every moment of song composing as who knows you can make a great song and come out with an EP. Many artists are discovered because of their original songs. You can be one of them! Gentle bones is one example.

Put your feelings and emotions into the song. :)



If you like my blog, continue reading my posts and support me. Thanks everyone! :) and do follow me on instagram @angeltanqq. Name is angie.

Have a great day!

Fashion trend on caps

Hi, everyone! Im back with another post. Recently, I am obsessed with caps. In those sunny weather, I usually wear cap to cover my face as recently, I just got sunburnt.

Showing you some caps I like:

Adidas cap is one of my favourite but is pretty expensive. Usually I will pair it with jeans or crop top as I feel that it will give a sense of swag and mysterious look. I also like how the logo is designed on the cap.

 
I have the black cap and it is really nice. For me, I like those swaggy words on the cap and youth suits me.


Nike cap is also very nice. I like things that are simple and beautiful. You can pair it with many clothing and at the same time, look pretty.


Wearing cap adds on to the fashion style. Also, it protects your face from the sun. You can wear it to school or going out with friends.



Hope you enjoy my post. If you like my blog, continue to read my posts. And follow me on instagram @angeltanqq. Name is angie.

Thanks everyone! Have a great day. :)

Fashion in the month of October

Hi, everyone! Im back again with another post. Today post will be about fashion. The past few weeks of work got me liking crop top and skinny jeans so much. Usually my work needs to be semi-formal and hence, I need to wear shoes and jeans.

Some photos I will like to share with you:


(this is not me, but this is what I wear for my work)





I like simple style which is pairing crop top and skinny jeans together. It makes you feel like you are ready for anything and look half formal. For me, I prefer skinny jeans because it makes you look skinner and gives your body a nice shape.

Also, I will wear ripped skinny jeans. I like it because it makes you look fashionable and is a new fashion trend now. For me, I like adding different styles to what I wear and try out new things.





Next, moving on to shoes. Shoes are very important as it complete the whole look of the outfit you are wearing. The past few weeks I have been wearing converse shoes which covers up to the ankle. You can wear any shoes you like that is comfortable. My friend likes nike shoes because he said now nike shoes is a new fashion trend.

Showing you some pictures here:





Or you can opt for adidas shoes. They also look very nice and gives the whole outfit a unique sense of fashion and look.





For high ankle shoes, depends on your preferences. Some of my friends gave me comments such as when she wears the high ankle shoes, she don't look that nice as her thighs are fat(as claimed by her). But honestly, if you like to wear high ankle shoes, why bother about what other people judgment? You wear it because you like it and you feel comfortable. :) Be yourself!

Converse shoes:





You can also go for converse shoes. I love it even though it is already outdated. It gives you a swag and rocky feeling if you pair it up with jeans or shorts. I wear these for my work and I like it so much. Call me old fashioned or something but I feel comfortable wearing it.


Fashion is everywhere. It depends on how you like it to be. Most importantly, you have to feel comfortable and at the same time, look swag. Be yourself! Confidence is the key to fashion. You wear it and feel confident. :)



This is my complete look for my work. I hope you enjoy my blog post. Do support me by reading my blog and following me on instagram @angeltanqq. Name is angie.

Thanks everyone! Have a good day. Stay happy, always.

Volunteering is meaningful

Hi, everyone! Im back with another post. Last week, I went for a volunteering event. Through the experience, I realized that there were many elders who needed more help than us. I remembered there was a time I went to old folks home and I saw the environment there. My heart immediately saddened by the place. When I went in, there were many elders lying on the bed...some were tied to the bed with ropes. If you are there, you will know how sad the scene is. Some elders relied on tubes to help them breathe or eat. I really want to help all of them...but all I can do is donate money or items. When I grow up, I will join as a volunteer. An elder told me that she went to join as a volunteer as she felt very sad for them and wanted to help them by talking to them and alleviating their needs.

I was really inspired by her and I told myself I will join as volunteer in old folks home. I wrote this post because I feel that there are more people who need help and we should lend a helping hand to them. I told myself to be more appreciative towards life and help those in need. Spread love and kindness to the world. :)

Have a great day!

Follow me on instagram @angeltanqq. Name is angie.

Having guys as friends is normal

Hi, everyone! Another post today! Today post will be about having guys as friends. I know many of you have a lot of friends around you but do you know which friend is true to you? Imagine if you are alone needing help, who will be there for you? Imagine if you feel helpless, does any of your friends actually comes over and comfort you, giving you word of advice?

I have been in poly for almost 2 years and I learnt many things. Having girls as friends is good but I realized not all girls are nice. They may look nice on the surface but they may talk something bad behind your back without you even knowing. You trusted them but they spread around. This is why sometimes I feel that having guys as friends is better. They make you feel better and happier by saying jokes and even keeping your secrets without telling anyone.

Guys are genuine and nice. I used to have nightmare about guys when I was young but nowadays, I find that I can actually confide in guys better than girls. They are willing to lend a ear and listen to all your insecurities. Don't be afraid of people judging you if you hang out with guys. For me, its pretty normal to hang out with someone you are comfortable with.

Last Friday, I went out with my guy friend alone and we hang out. I can say even though it wasn't anything special but we talked a lot and I felt really comfortable. We ended up sharing many insecurities and unglam photos. Its really nice talking to a guy even though I may get shy around guys. He is one of the truest friend I have ever met and I would want to hang out with him again.

Who says a guy and a girl cannot hang out? Who says it will turn into a relationship? Just be comfortable and happy, that's the most important.


If you like my blog, continue supporting me by reading the posts. :) Follow me on instagram @angeltanqq. Name is angie.

Have a great day! remember, be happy always.

Holidays experience

Hi,everyone! Currently im still having holidays. The past few weeks I had been working and I gained some experience. Today post will be about my part time job and I will be sharing some of my lessons learnt. I am under employment agency and I worked as a promoter. My first job was a promoter for Hokkaido Milk. It was so much fun as this was my first time working as a promoter. At first I was not used to it as I had to stand for 9 hours and my back is aching. But the people working there were so friendly and they helped me when I had difficulties. I was touched as I didn't expect such a warm welcome from them, especially the aunties there. Soon, I was actually looking forward to my work. However, my job lasted 3 days. I communicated with the customers and I had fun promoting. When my work was ending, I miss the place terribly. Never have I thought people will be kind and nice to  me because sometimes I feel like I don't deserve any happiness. I feel so much love there because people there treated me like a proper human. While im writing this, im actually crying because emotions get in the way. I miss them............

The second job was working as a flyer distributor. The job was never easy for me. Basically, I had to stand for 4 hours at the same position to distribute all the flyers. I remembered there was an uncle telling me this: Take care, ok? the weather is really hot. I feel loved too. I guess I had many dark pasts that I feel I don't deserve to be loved.

The third job was promoting beauty tools for a company, MTG Pte Ltd. The job was pretty simple, I had to stand there and when there were customers, I had to tend to them. My second time working for this company was satisfying. When I just arrived there, there were tourists buying from me and they bought 2 expensive items, costing 600 plus. I made friend there and she was on internship. She helped me and for once, working was never tired for me but satisfying and happy. After working there, I received a call from my boss that the company said im a good promoter and they wanted me to continue working for them after holidays. I was so happy....

The next job was working as a promoter at the same place promoting Japanese ice cream. Im back. I saw the aunties and the people there again. I miss them so much. They were so happy when they saw me...for once, I never regret working there. I was so happy when I got this job opportunity. Is it fate? I was able to see them again...

Summarising, I really enjoyed working..it was never tiring but fulfilling for me. I learnt a lot from the people im working with. To be a good promoter, you have to speak out more and talk about your experiences to the customers. Also, most importantly, BE TALKATIVE. Be courageous and talk more. Tease the customers.

If you like my blog, please continue reading my blog and other posts. Follow my instagram @angeltanqq. Name is angie.

I will be posting more stuff during this holidays. Continue supporting me. :) Thanks, everyone! Have a good day.

Past define what i am today

Hi, everyone! Suddenly has an inspiration to write a post about my past. My past is a laughing stock to most people. Many people hurt me with their words, especially guys in my secondary school. Therefore, I don't trust guys that much and hang out with them. One moment they can treat u real good, next moment, push you away and call you names that pierce my soul. Most guys in my secondary school are jerks, treating you basically like dirt. Don't judge me if you look at yourself in the mirror. Im hurt and torn because of my past. Some people may not know what I am feeling but I suddenly feel a rush of emotions coming up.

Why am I like that today? Insecure everywhere, scared people judge me. Because of my poly life and secondary school. Is school a good thing? For me, nope. Worst nightmare you ever had. Broken, lifeless girl. What can I do about it? Nothing but an invisible girl in the eyes of others. Not popular, none of the category.

Maybe a sudden release is the best thing...cutting? I don't no for now..i hope someone saves me from myself..or  nah..im alone again. :(

Feelings

Hi,everyone! Today I will be talking more about judgmental, bullying and depression. I know many people are facing it in the world and tbh, I am facing it also. In the society, I realized many people are judgmental about someone else looks. I feel that just because someone who doesn't look good doesn't mean someone else should say mean things about him/her. It doesn't make her/him feel good as this will hurt them deeply. Calling her/him nerd, does it make you feel good? It makes you look bad too. Everyone has their own natural beauty, no one is ugly. Why cant people stop with the comments? I got this inspiration from my friend and Demi lovato. Does looks matter much? I mean its okay if you want to be with a guy who looks handsome but don't insult anyone's face. I feel unjustified for them. Nobody should say mean things that hurt other people's feelings as feelings are fragile. No one should say something that causes them to degrade themselves because words are powerful and strong. Some people may not know how much effect words affect a person but it really does affect a lot to one person's soul.

Another topic is bullying. Why will someone bully another person? Do you feel happy doing it? Bullying will cause a person to be depressed. He/She will constantly live in a world full of darkness and everyday is like a nightmare to them. They will live in a world full of fear and sadness. Why will you be the cause of her/him misery? I do hope some people will empathize with their feelings and put yourself in their positions. How will you feel if you are the one being bullied?

Last topic is depression. I know coping with depression is hard because I have been through it before. That fear of being alone and crying makes me feel like im having bad days everyday. I don't dare to eat and I feel like im not worthy. People talking behind my back and hurtful comments pierces my soul. Who can mend the broken soul? People calling me deaf when I don't talk to people in my Primary school days. It Hurts my heart terribly and people leaving me alone, lies and all...It was hard for me. Afraid people will judge me....people will see me what a rubbish I am. Crying makes things worse but I cant control the tears that come down my face. No one will understand that feelings, even your close friends.

Hence, I find it hard to trust anyone now. Im sorry this post is kinda sad, but I want to address the issue that if anyone out there is feeling the same way as me, stay strong. Because you are worth everything in the world.

Thanks for reading the post. Do support. :)

My Best Friend

Hi, today my post is going to be about my best friend, Evangel. She is the sunshine girl who smiles a lot and I love her that much.

I remembered the first time I met her was during the open house for my school ambassador club and she sat next to me, talking to me. At that time, I was feeling a bit lonely and scared, but she came along and gave me her amazing smile. She is outgoing, constantly making others feel at ease and happy. I am one of them. To be honest, I am a girl who has dark past also and felt really insecure and lonely. She makes me feel alive and happy. She didn't know she has that effect on others but she really is an Angel to me.

However, this year, I realized her darkest secret behind her amazing smile was a broken girl. She went to hospital for checkups on her mental health and I was stunned when she told me that. She is just a 18 years old teenage girl with a dark past, similar to me and committed suicide a few times but it didn't succeed. And as for now, she is relying on her medicine. Recently, I heard that she was admitted to hospital for observation.

To be honest, I was feeling very sad as though is me in her position. I kept thinking of how to help her overcome this obstacles. I knew how is it like to feel suffocated and wanting to end my life because I had been in that position before. I did cut myself before once when I was quarrelling with my mom, even now I had that small scar on my hand. I always wanted to help others because I feel that as a human living in this world, I wanted to help as many people as I can to alleviate their problems or sufferings. I felt the way many people feel, sadness, sorrow, pain, loneliness etc. Maybe even more than what you think a 18 year old teenage girl could feel.

Evangel, if you are reading this..let me tell you my whole story.

I was a girl who was born with autistic and I was not a normal child since I was born. When I was young, I didn't communicate or talk to the kids of my age as I went to childcare centre. The teachers there found it weird and told my parents to bring me to see a doctor who can fix my mental illness. Nobody could find out what is the real underlying reason to me not talking to anyone, even my parents. I couldn't go to normal school as teachers in the normal school said that I had problem and should be in a special school. But luckily I didn't. Thank God. My mom will bring me to childcare centre and let me stay there for many hours. As a young girl who did not talk to people, boys of my age constantly bullied me and I remembered there was a time where the boys threw the floor dirt at me and I did not cry because I was autistic. I couldn't feel anything at all. I was a girl who had lots of problems and I failed all my exams badly. My mom caned me before as I couldn't concentrate. My mind was a blank space and as though my soul flies away from my body. But it was music who saved me and brings my soul back to life. I started recovering when I was in Primary 5. And always had that dream of standing on stage, performing and singing. I guess my dream kinda succeed partially.

So evangel, do not feel that you are the only one facing such problem. I am with you always. To me, you are that perfect girl who constantly makes me smile. Please be strong and think positively. You are awesome to me and I will always be there for you if you need me.

Please do not suicide or think of negative thoughts that could end your life. Because if you do, I will stop breathing the day you do. So please be happy and overcome the obstacles because I know you can do it. You can talk to me always as I will be online on Whatsapp for you.

Be happy because you are worth everything to me. Be healthy.





I will keep in contact with you often and do update me. Evangel, thanks for being there for me. Stay Strong! I will be praying for you.

Sad lyrics written by me

im sad....

This is a song written by me:

Beautiful memories in my mind
Shattered into pieces
All choices to go
Demons calling in my head
Calling me to hell
Memories flash by like lightning
Hole in my heart cannot be fixed
Hurt filled up in my vacant heart
I feel for my Dad
I don't no what to do

Blood runs through my wrists
Cutting seems to be the only way out
Am I feeling alright
Maybe I am, maybe not?
Who are you to judge
Do you know me?
Mask covering my pain I faced
Who can understand
Who can save me from hell

im alone,sitting on the floor
Can I give up my life
Tears streaming down my face
That is the real me
A warrior who is broken on the inside
Im not perfect
Scars everywhere
Heaven is my home
Don't find me
im gone
No one will know me

Broken pieces of my family
Drown in my darkness
Im gonna fall down
Coming down,down down
Struggling in a small corner of my room
A messed up family
Cant seem to fix it
What can I do?

A sudden feeling to write such a sad song. I am not sure if is a song or diary, but im really sad. :(

Fashion in the month of August

Hi,everyone!
Im back! I will be sharing with you my recent favourite outfits. Some of the outfits are inspired by Chrissy Costanza in Against the Current.

The first outfit is:

Although this outfit is simple, but it is super comfortable. You can pair this outfit with a pair of sneakers or boots. Simplicity is beautiful.
It will look something like this:

For me, under the hot weather, I will often wear this to school.

Another outfit is:


I hope it gives you some inspiration on what to wear to school or partying.

Finding what to wear can be hard but simple clothing like this will solve your problem. You can wear this anywhere for certain events and school. Everyone has different sense of fashion and I like to be as simple as possible.

Side track: Support Against the Current!!! I love them so much!!!
My next blog post will probably be after my exams as im currently having exams for next 2 weeks. Next post will be about my singing cover which is coming out and I will write more about my music journey for past few years. So do look out and stay tuned! Thanks everyone for reading this post! :)

Midnight thoughts

Hi,everyone. It is very late at night but here are some thoughts which I feel very sad. I feel..when I want to type a blog, I don't no what to say because all the thoughts run in my head and all is mixed up. im confused...what should I begin or say...im sorry guys. I am just feeling really sad..should I give up on life... :(

First day of school tomorrow

Hi, everyone! I am not looking forward to school opening tomorrow. To be honest, I am quite scared because of the stress I am going to have when there are a lot of projects coming up. Also, I am actually scared of being alone but through Poly life, I learnt a lot of things. First of all, I learnt to be independent and not rely on others as I find myself not trusting anyone. Also, I learnt to not care about what others think of me even though its hard to do that since there is a application which we use it often and is Whatsapp. In addition, I learnt to be strong no matter what pulls me down in life after a phase of darkness in Year 1. Year 1 was not as amazing as I thought but was a past that I wouldn't want to go back. I developed depression in Year 1 as I was sort of being isolated by my classmates especially girls. I was always sitting alone in class with every girls squeezing together and none want to sit beside me which hurts me a lot. That feeling of loneliness, isolation, afraid of people judging me were overwhelming and my heart was empty. The point towards life was dark and I couldn't see a light in the tunnel. In projects, I was constantly afraid people will isolate me and create another whatsapp group with me being excluded. I have a feeling of people disliking me in school and afraid people will judge me. As a 17 year old teenager, I cope with emotions very badly and now I am trying to be open and not let it affect me but sometimes it is hard. I feel like I am deceiving myself if I said I am fine. I am not good with talking and words but music somehow helps me through all the tough times.

The journey was not easy and I managed to cross it but I am still afraid of being alone and the work I am going to face when school reopen. I am so scared and not ready for anything. I am always living in fear that people will not like me and I have to please everyone. I always put on a smile which I know in myself that it is fake but actually deep in my heart, I am not happy but a broken lost girl.

Sometimes in life, not everything seems to go in our ways. It may seems easy, but trust me, the path is tough and rough. To get through it, it requires a lot of strength and patience. Too many things have happened in my life and it makes me hard to trust anybody, I guess I lose that trust in existence anymore.

New Crush

Hi,everyone! Recently, I discovered that I like a guy in my CCA and he is my junior. Is it weird to like a junior who is younger than me by 1 year old? He is not that really cute guy but I can tell that he has a super nice and patient personality and I can tell that he is a really nice guy. Hence, I have a crush on him. I feel nervous when im around him and I can sense that I am doing weird stuff as I cant control myself. He makes me feel that..is it a sign of liking? He is also my instrumentalist and he plays the piano super well. Should I continue this crush? I feel that its a bit awkward.

RIP Christina Grimme

Today post will be something really different. A few days ago, I heard from the news that Christina Grimme had passed away. I couldn't process it as it was my favourite singer who I had been listening since I was young. I always admired her voice and her passion for music and that she had became my role model since then. When I read the news, my tears fell and my heart felt really empty. Nothing could comprehend what I was feeling at that point of time as I was beyond sad. I never expected her to die at such a young age. She was just 22. She was an incredibly talented, amazing, gorgeous, intelligent and kind hearted girl who put her faith into everything she did and she loved music so much that I could see her deep real passion for music. Recently, I watched Selena Gomez concert and listened to her speech. I cried the first time I heard her talk about Christina Grimme. I felt really sad and sad. I listened the second time and I cried again. She was that amazing and now she was gone. I felt a deep loss as I couldn't hear her voice anymore. I remembered watching The Voice season and she attracted me from the first start. Her voice was incredibly powerful and when she sang the high note, I was shocked. That girl could sing so well. She never failed to disappoint us with her performance and she gave in her 100% effort in her performance. Even in her covers in YouTube Channel, she always shocked me as her voice was really soulful.

Actually I am writing this post to say what I am feeling and thinking and there is a cover of me singing her song "Think of you" which will come very soon. I want to dedicate to her. Even after so many days, I couldn't help but cry when I think of her.

A song that she sang with Sam Tsui which was Just a Dream.
Can it be just a dream.
But the truth hurts....

I really don't no what to feel anymore...

But do look out for my cover of her song "Think of You".

Rest in peace, Christina Grimme.

Peer Pressure

Hi, everyone! Has anyone of you ever felt peer pressure before? Because I have. As I am a Polytechnic student, I have many projects coming up and sometimes it may get overwhelming as I have to handle studies, projects and CCA. However, knowing that friends are doing faster than you makes you feel pressurized as you feel that you are slow and that the deadline is ringing in your head, telling you that you have to do it quick before it gets closer. It makes me super stressed as I wish life can slow down. Sometimes we have to change ourselves to adapt to our peers because everyone has different characters. For example, recently there is a lot of KPOP bands in Korea and if I don't keep up to it, I will be behind them and sometimes I have changed myself to be like them. We face peer pressure everyday in our life.. its not something that we can get rid of easily.

Music(Singing) Cover

Hi, everyone! Sorry that I haven't been updating my blog because the past one week I had been having exams and now its over. This holiday is going to be hectic for me but I will be posting cover of my singing on Youtube. I will update my blog when I post singing cover on Youtube. I am still thinking of singing either Chinese or English song, a bit lost. Any suggestions?

Anyway, my school life was quite okay, better than last year. As I always said, tough times wont last. Give them your smile and rock the world.

Do you guys think I should cover paper hearts by tori Kelly or 7 years or see you again or one call again? I have a list of songs to cover..maybe all at once?

Singing has been my passion since I was young. Feelings I cant express, music helps me. So if you guys are feeling really sad, listen to music and sing out all your worries and sadness. :)

It hurts so much

Hi, everyone! Today I had my dry camp as group leader with a guy in my cca. I started to develop real deep feelings for him and I felt the spark. However, I think he sees me as a friend. I saw him and my friend together even though he has a girlfriend. He treats her differently from me and I can sense he has feelings for her despite the fact that he has a girlfriend. He kept walking beside her and talked to her. For example, he sat with her on the bus. I know I shouldn't have this feelings for him but I cant help it. He always look out for her which is different from the way he treats me. I felt jealous, which I shouldn't even feel that. I feel like I am like any other girls which I try hard to not be them and want to be someone different and unique. I try to stop these feelings but it becomes stronger. I sat on the bus and watched the raindrops slide down the windows. It is trying to say hope is gone. Maybe in my life, I don't deserve to have the guy I like. I just deserve to be a loner all my life. It hurts so much when I see them together and when I was walking or lagging behind, no one even noticed me. I was so sad that no one noticed my existence. I started to feel tears forming at the back of my eyes, threatening to fall out. I tried to control it which I am good at faking it. I tried to show everyone that I am brave and strong and independent, but the truth is I am not. I have dark secrets that hides behind my face. In every smile lies every tears. I tried to cope with it with music and music is my accompaniment. I don't no why it hurts a lot when he is with my friend.. I feel that they are compatible. I felt idiotic standing beside him. I am not good enough for anyone.

I can only see him from afar even though he is my partner for camp. He is funny and cute and has a good voice but not mine. I am trying to cope with my feelings..i can only silently cry when no one is looking.

Boy Girl Relationship

Hi, everyone! Today is my last day of holiday, hence I decide to write one more post. A lot of teenagers are facing love relationship drama. I have no experience on that but I certainly hear a lot of stories from my friends. For a relationship to go on for years, both of you must be ready to commit. By means of commit, I mean let out your feelings and share with your partner. You must be ready to communicate and talk patiently with your partner. I heard from my friends that they kept things to themselves, hence the guy don't understand what the girl is feeling. Hence, talking it out definitely solves lots of unspoken words. Also, try to understand from each other perspectives. For example, put yourself in your partner's shoes.

These are my suggestions. I am not an expert but I hope you can take some advice. :)

Fashion in the month of April

Hi, everyone! Recently, I have been obsessed with crop top and short or jeans.



I always like to go for something simple partly due to the weather in my country. Its comfortable and you can go out for hours without feeling baggy.



If you think its plain, you can carry this bag in the picture above to complete the whole look.


Crop top and jeans

Even though it may looks simple and plain, but there is a quote saying: simplicity is beauty. Honestly, I usually opt for this look. (Not to deny)






Next, you can add on a pair of sneakers.





These are the sneakers you can wear with the above matching outfit. It looks like a hip hop dancer style.

You can add on to adidas cap together with the look.




Or nike cap also can




If the weather is hot, you can put on your sunglasses.




Depending you want to wear it

To conclude, fashion is everywhere. Depending on what styles you want to portray, you can match any outfit. Fashion is fun! There is no right or wrong in matching outfit so don't be afraid whether is it hideous. Its perfectly fine to look in any outfit. Have fun! Enjoying my last day of holiday. Sad life for me.