First day of school tomorrow

Hi, everyone! I am not looking forward to school opening tomorrow. To be honest, I am quite scared because of the stress I am going to have when there are a lot of projects coming up. Also, I am actually scared of being alone but through Poly life, I learnt a lot of things. First of all, I learnt to be independent and not rely on others as I find myself not trusting anyone. Also, I learnt to not care about what others think of me even though its hard to do that since there is a application which we use it often and is Whatsapp. In addition, I learnt to be strong no matter what pulls me down in life after a phase of darkness in Year 1. Year 1 was not as amazing as I thought but was a past that I wouldn't want to go back. I developed depression in Year 1 as I was sort of being isolated by my classmates especially girls. I was always sitting alone in class with every girls squeezing together and none want to sit beside me which hurts me a lot. That feeling of loneliness, isolation, afraid of people judging me were overwhelming and my heart was empty. The point towards life was dark and I couldn't see a light in the tunnel. In projects, I was constantly afraid people will isolate me and create another whatsapp group with me being excluded. I have a feeling of people disliking me in school and afraid people will judge me. As a 17 year old teenager, I cope with emotions very badly and now I am trying to be open and not let it affect me but sometimes it is hard. I feel like I am deceiving myself if I said I am fine. I am not good with talking and words but music somehow helps me through all the tough times.

The journey was not easy and I managed to cross it but I am still afraid of being alone and the work I am going to face when school reopen. I am so scared and not ready for anything. I am always living in fear that people will not like me and I have to please everyone. I always put on a smile which I know in myself that it is fake but actually deep in my heart, I am not happy but a broken lost girl.

Sometimes in life, not everything seems to go in our ways. It may seems easy, but trust me, the path is tough and rough. To get through it, it requires a lot of strength and patience. Too many things have happened in my life and it makes me hard to trust anybody, I guess I lose that trust in existence anymore.

New Crush

Hi,everyone! Recently, I discovered that I like a guy in my CCA and he is my junior. Is it weird to like a junior who is younger than me by 1 year old? He is not that really cute guy but I can tell that he has a super nice and patient personality and I can tell that he is a really nice guy. Hence, I have a crush on him. I feel nervous when im around him and I can sense that I am doing weird stuff as I cant control myself. He makes me feel that..is it a sign of liking? He is also my instrumentalist and he plays the piano super well. Should I continue this crush? I feel that its a bit awkward.

RIP Christina Grimme

Today post will be something really different. A few days ago, I heard from the news that Christina Grimme had passed away. I couldn't process it as it was my favourite singer who I had been listening since I was young. I always admired her voice and her passion for music and that she had became my role model since then. When I read the news, my tears fell and my heart felt really empty. Nothing could comprehend what I was feeling at that point of time as I was beyond sad. I never expected her to die at such a young age. She was just 22. She was an incredibly talented, amazing, gorgeous, intelligent and kind hearted girl who put her faith into everything she did and she loved music so much that I could see her deep real passion for music. Recently, I watched Selena Gomez concert and listened to her speech. I cried the first time I heard her talk about Christina Grimme. I felt really sad and sad. I listened the second time and I cried again. She was that amazing and now she was gone. I felt a deep loss as I couldn't hear her voice anymore. I remembered watching The Voice season and she attracted me from the first start. Her voice was incredibly powerful and when she sang the high note, I was shocked. That girl could sing so well. She never failed to disappoint us with her performance and she gave in her 100% effort in her performance. Even in her covers in YouTube Channel, she always shocked me as her voice was really soulful.

Actually I am writing this post to say what I am feeling and thinking and there is a cover of me singing her song "Think of you" which will come very soon. I want to dedicate to her. Even after so many days, I couldn't help but cry when I think of her.

A song that she sang with Sam Tsui which was Just a Dream.
Can it be just a dream.
But the truth hurts....

I really don't no what to feel anymore...

But do look out for my cover of her song "Think of You".

Rest in peace, Christina Grimme.

Peer Pressure

Hi, everyone! Has anyone of you ever felt peer pressure before? Because I have. As I am a Polytechnic student, I have many projects coming up and sometimes it may get overwhelming as I have to handle studies, projects and CCA. However, knowing that friends are doing faster than you makes you feel pressurized as you feel that you are slow and that the deadline is ringing in your head, telling you that you have to do it quick before it gets closer. It makes me super stressed as I wish life can slow down. Sometimes we have to change ourselves to adapt to our peers because everyone has different characters. For example, recently there is a lot of KPOP bands in Korea and if I don't keep up to it, I will be behind them and sometimes I have changed myself to be like them. We face peer pressure everyday in our life.. its not something that we can get rid of easily.

Music(Singing) Cover

Hi, everyone! Sorry that I haven't been updating my blog because the past one week I had been having exams and now its over. This holiday is going to be hectic for me but I will be posting cover of my singing on Youtube. I will update my blog when I post singing cover on Youtube. I am still thinking of singing either Chinese or English song, a bit lost. Any suggestions?

Anyway, my school life was quite okay, better than last year. As I always said, tough times wont last. Give them your smile and rock the world.

Do you guys think I should cover paper hearts by tori Kelly or 7 years or see you again or one call again? I have a list of songs to cover..maybe all at once?

Singing has been my passion since I was young. Feelings I cant express, music helps me. So if you guys are feeling really sad, listen to music and sing out all your worries and sadness. :)