Within this one year of Poly life, I learnt a lot of things about life and myself. Its not easy for me during this one year, having to meet different people with different attitudes. I faced depression at a certain point of time..I am not proud to say this. I have changed class due to conflicts that I am not proud of sharing it out. I cried and been hurt multiple times. No one will be able to understand how I feel. I am afraid of saying to lots of people as I am afraid that they will judge me, saying that I am a girl with lots of problems and not being able to work with others. I admit I am that girl..but hearing what others said about me hurts a lot..that I feel like crying to let out all my emotions. Its hard not to let it affect me. Why are people so cruel to me? why are they treating me indifferently? I am insecure about myself. I feel that I have to change myself to be sociable and its hard. Maybe I am not perfect. Sometimes I feel alone...in class..with no one there for me. I dislike going to school as I don't have a place where I belong with a group of cliques. I am afraid to be seen alone and that everyone will think I am a loner. Sometimes I have to hide in the toilet so that I will not be seen alone. I have to wait for everyone to go off before I come out of the toilet. I talk to myself as I am feeling miserable. I have to act I am really busy when I am not. I have to pretend everything is okay when its not. I have to say "I am fine" when deep down, I am not truly okay. Its hard for me to live each day of my life. I feel that I am not good enough.
Sorry for my inner thoughts and long message. I am really miserable. If anybody is reading this, you are not alone. I am here for you. I feel what you normally feel so don't give up. Be strong. Because that is what I am doing now.
Let music be part of you.
Play guitar or sing songs to release that sadness part of you.
If you have any problems or difficulties, you can write them under the comment box below or email me at angeltanqq@gmail.com or dm me in my instagram: angeltanqq(name is Angie). I will answer you back and give you some suggestions on how to cope.
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